Love Is In The Air

It’s got that summer feel everywhere, and the birds, and the bees and lots of new couples are doing it.

In the past month two different planned first-dates were cancelled a few days before getting together with me. Each because they already were dating someone who they decided to become exclusive with. And a male friend, who I cuddle with from time-time, informed me when we got together yesterday, that he was on a new one-month-trial commitment with a woman he knew for years that just last week became romantic. We hugged as he gave me sexy but gentlemanly compliments about our previous cuddle-ability. He was proud that he could be sexually committed to one woman for a time, and that we could still hang out as friends. And I was happy for his happiness, but told him he could have told me before we got together, so I’d have dressed with a little less anticipation. (Thankfully, I had pleased myself in preparation earlier.)

Bravo to all three of these men. They were honorable to their new women and to me, flattering by thanking me for the allure I had originally enticed them with, and (being men and pragmatists) each implied the door may re-open, just in case. But you could tell they were smitten by their women and wanted these blossoming relationships to keep growing onward.

Oh, well, timing and location is everything and it’s my summer to look out through the window— not pursue or be pursued, it seems. All my friends say I should just find a nice young stud, just let him give me a series of good times. I crave a domestic relationship, a man who is my compadre-amour, at this time of my life, but what the hay, maybe a light-hearted frolic, might give me the after-glow I need to go out there and slay the dragons.

Because of the book, I have met many polyamorists, swingers, or just people open to sexual experimentation with others. Some are single, others in committed relationships. For many of them, their choices truly have provided them emotional and spiritual expansion, along with the physical fun. Personally, I really prefer to be monogamous. But my own experience with a series of threesome encounters with the same two men, allowed me to discover my inner queen. I always performed for men, and not that I didn’t do my share of special treats for these two guys, but they were devoting their attentions to me, more than wanting for themselves. My sensuality became reveled in myself, with all their simultaneous touches and kisses on my body.

I need to remember those experiences more. Welcoming a man’s “giving” to me, in ways I need him to, not only the ways he fantasizes that all women will respond to. It’s a tough lesson for many women. Many of us have been indoctrinated on how to catch a man, how to please a man, how to keep a man etc, etc. Yet men always tell me their priority and their main satisfaction is in knowing they pleased their woman. It should be a matter of equal give-take, but first many of us women need to be brave enough to let guys know what we want for our bodies and our relationships. It’s the most honest and self-powered way.

In the meantime, rather than ponder the depth of Mar’s and Venus’ sexual meaning, I’ll just relax in the wonderful companionship of my platonic males friends.

Later, last night I had dinner at Julio and Jeff’s place with our friend John. We cooked and laughed and talked. And John walked me home from the short bus ride. I love walking at night, and as John said the same feel is also “in the rain”. Both bring magic in the air, a kind of hush, pregnant with future knowing of what the sunny, day lit –world will be bring.

It had been another good day. One filled with many kinds of waiting, but with the comforts of sharing the little moments with friends.