Friday, June 01, 2007

Full Moon Oyster Viagra


Oysters weren’t the original pick for tonight’s tie-in to yesterday’s double blue-moon ’07 post. (Did you catch the smiley faced buns?) Sure, there’s a preponderance of Full Moon Oyster restaurants and there’s the unknown reason why Blue Öyster Cult (Moon Crazy), was umlauted and named “after a poetry collection about aliens who secretly guide Earth's history,” but what’s making the news today are oysters infused with Viagra.

A misguided bunch of Australian oyster farmer have been doing their capitalist best by patenting their Viagra infused oyster tanks. A marketing exec partnered the idea with them after he sprinkled crushed Viagra on his oyster dinner for a double stiffy delight (we can only assume). The oysters don’t need it—their “soft”-bodies can get it on quite naturally, in hermaphroditic sperm and egg spray fests, thank you—but George May and team are fondling themselves over the profitably uplifting double-entendre it could be for consumers to get their “spoon full of oyster to help the medicine go down”... and up. The Australian NSW food authority said license would not be given to sell the oysters in Australia. But the farmers feel it would have a huge (unregulated) Asian market. Patented under the name ViagraOysters, Pfizer is planning to sue for a name change.

On the other side of aphrodisiacs in the news today, 25% of Italians surveyed would choose a zesty salami and a hearty cheese to get their sex juices flowing.
One favorite is Nduja, a fiery ( though none too pretty, pictured at right )
salami from Calabria, that especially is known to increase blood flow.
The article doesn’t state how or when the salami is best pleasured…

As for the man on the moon's influence on Italian cheese, like the
song goes--
when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore

3 comments:

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Anonymous said...

What a wonderful thing you are doing for the standing of women in society. Promoting further objectification and degradation of women under the guise of sexual liberation. And doing an interview in Hustler magazine is CERTAINLY not antithetical to your cause. pleeeaazse.
Clearly you have inhaled too many fumes from the toliet cleaners you use.
Misguided.

buy viagra said...

that's a ridiculous strategy to improve the effects of this pill. Just buy viagra and forget oysters please.